18. “Don’t drag Maya Angelou into this mess.”

Ho Ho Ho and Merry December! It’s been a while but if you’re familiar with Degrassi: The Next Generation’s Season 2, Episodes 12 and 13, “White Wedding” then you already know that this episode is packed to the brim with bullshit to drag these characters for…which meant editing took the better part of one of our lives as a result. You’re welcome.

Your host this week, Nina, guides us through the shit show that is Spike’s bad planning. And we’re not even referring to the surprise pregnancy (too easy). Who makes a 13 year old their wedding planner? Isn’t this woman supposed to be a professional hairdresser? Why is Emma the only person you’d confide your big secret to if you were set on your groom not finding out about it? It’s one thing to have to digest all of the stupid decisions teenagers make week after week but it’s another to have to find patience in our hearts for some of these adults (with the exception of Lucy Fernandez, who can do no wrong).

Along the way, we share our experiences with strippers, our stories of trying to dye our hair by ourselves (what else did a person do when they were bored and broke and living in a dorm?), muse on all of the things we would trade Emma for (Consensus: a Black Cherry White Claw i.e. the worst White Claw), and really, REALLY, we need to know and we need Archie to tell us – what in the world does Spike have that you can’t find elsewhere and sans Emma?

So say yes to the mess (Archie certainly did), open up a can of that Black Cherry White Claw, and never forget that Wasaga Beach is the Florida of Canada!

Happy Holidays, Degrassholes!


Stephan, Morgan, Natasha, Nina, and Perino

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